Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Is Your Ex Worth A Second Chance

Stay focused
He may be the love of your life but you come first so it’s important to get as much perspective as possible. What was he like before your split? Did he make you feel good about yourself? The emotions can feel overwhelming and the happy memories can often cloud the bad ones. To get a realistic view of your relationship ask friends and family for their opinions or make a pros and cons list. Don’t agree to try again unless you’re sure it’s the right thing for your long-term happiness.

Assess his situation
It’s okay to ask why he wants a second chance. What’s changed in his current situation that has so drastically altered his mind-set? Has he just gone through a break-up and needs comfort from someone familiar, or is he just after sex? Arrange a meeting in a public place to discuss your situation like adults. If he refuses it’s probably because he isn’t interested in a genuine reconciliation – someone who really wants you back will be able to tell you why.

Wanting what he can’t have
Some men have a habit of only wanting what they can’t have. If he’s single and you’ve moved on with a new partner he may start to feel jealous, confused and lonely. This sort of person wants to feel wanted, but as soon as you give-in they go cold again. The best way to deal with this is to not get involved – they don’t have any control over you.

Be realistic about your loneliness
The real reason to give him a second chance is because you both want to be together and work on your relationship. The worst reason is because you’re lonely, miserable or just bored. Before you say yes make sure you’re not giving in to your own emotions. Think of all the positives, plan plenty of nights out with friends and assess whether it’s him that you really want.

Has he changed?
When you first got together he may have been silly, childlike and impulsive, but over-time he may have matured and decided that your relationship is worth saving. To find out, chat to mutual friends or arrange to go on a second ‘first date’. Speak to him, find out what’s happening in his life and decide if this is the sort of person you would be willing to go on a second date with. If the answer is NO there’s no reason why you should get back together.

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