Relationship mistake 1: Expecting a fairytale
A common pitfall is to treat your relationship as though it exists
in a fairytale and then fly off the handle at the slightest blip when
you realise you’re back in reality. We grew up believing that
relationships were all about the perfect man, the perfect woman and a
love story punctuated by a choir of singing mice – thanks for that,
Cinderella – but it’s important to make the transition between fiction
and reality if your relationship is to run smoothly. Expecting sparkling
carriages and perfect women in our relationships sounds great but makes
for a pretty disappointing shock when we find ourselves dealing with
arguments and our other half’s morning breath. Keep your fictional
mindset at bay when it comes to relationships and you will avoid one
serious love life blunder.
Relationship mistake 2: Cheating
When it comes to relationship mistakes, cheating is a serious deal
breaker. Once the dirty deed has been done the relationship has been
tainted and you’re either a liar or a cheat, depending on whether you
confess or not. If your partner cheats and you’re the victim, it’s going
to lead to feelings of resentment, upset and anger, which isn’t a great
foundation for a long and happy relationship. Cheating isn’t pleasant
for either party and it certainly isn’t an ingredient in the recipe for a
loving relationship. If you’re thinking about doing the dirty on your
significant other, you probably shouldn’t be together in the first
place.
Relationship mistake 3: Not having a life of your own
Your relationship should enhance your life, not rule it, and feeling
that you are unable to enjoy your time away from your other half
suggests that your relationship is ruling your life. Other common
indicators of this are that your plans are always dictated by what your
partner is doing, you’re not seeing your friends and family as much as
you used to and your future goals have taken a back seat. As much as you
may love spending time together, too much of it can leave you both
feeling fed up and eventually lead to feelings of resentment. While it’s
important to make special time for your relationship, you also need to
make sure you have time apart to miss each other and live your own lives
– this makes it even more special when you see each other again and
share the experiences you had when you were apart.
Relationship mistake 4: Snooping
Thinking of snooping through your partner’s texts or having a sneaky
peek at their Facebook messages? Hold your horses, because this is a
whopping relationship mistake. Anyone who looks through their partner’s
private messages or emails risks making their partner feel smothered and
as though they can’t be trusted. This behavior rarely ends well
either; snoopers have a habit of reading between the lines (or the
texts, in this case) and blowing things out of proportion. A text from
your partner to their boss – who happens to be a member of the opposite
sex – that reads “okay , see you later” doesn’t mean “can’t wait to
meet you for that hot date tonight” as it would through a snooper’s
eyes. If you feel like you need to pry into your partner’s business,
your relationship is headed for the rocks. If your partner is snooping
on you, it may be time to have a word with them.
Relationship mistake 5: Attempting to change someone
When you first met your partner, you were attracted to their laid
back personality and ability to help you relax when you’re usually
running around like a headless chicken. Now, you can’t get them up off
the sofa to clean up their mess and you’re starting to wish your other
half wasn’t so lazy. It’s common to start resenting the things that
first attracted you to your partner as you advance into the
relationship, but you either have to learn to live with it or part ways.
If not, you end up trying to change that person by nagging at them all
the time, which eventually leads to resentment and can grind you both
down. While it may be worth having a word with your partner about what’s
annoying you, you can’t make them change unless they really want to.
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