Saturday, 15 September 2012

At What Age Should A Man Get Married?

Marriage is one event in a man’s life that changes his life forever.

Now the question is, In Nigerian how old should a man be before he ties the nuptial knot? Well it depends on a lot of factors.
For the Nigerian men from the Eastern part of the country, they marry between the ages of 30 – 35 years. For the northerners, they marry earlier say from 22 – 28 years. So beside cultural backgrounds, what other factors determines a man’s readiness to marriage?
I will discuss those factors, but before that, I’m writing based on my personal opinion and you are free to think otherwise and my opinion is just mine, it doesn’t make it right or wrong.
I feel while getting married reaching a certain age is necessary, age should not be the major determinant of marriage. Readiness for marriage should be the main reason for anyone to be the position of settling down with a woman.

What Do I Mean By Readiness?
Well, here are the areas a man should carefully consider to know whether he is
ready to handle marriage life successfully.

1. Your Career.
A man who is contemplating marriage should think deeply about his career, Is his career congruent to his marriage decisions, can it support the partner for a long time. For instance, if you are a sailor or a pilot or any of the career that allows too much mobility, can your partner tolerate having you stay away for say
2 – 3 months at a time? This should be sorted out before a man decides to settle down.

2. Religious Background
Even though we believe that true love for the woman we are interested in is a major determinant of marriage, the truth is, it is always better to marry someone that has the same religious views with us, it allows for a smoother union, unless the other partner is ready to make a religious switch, else there may be hitches in the marriage later on as children who are the product of the marriage may start taking sides on who to join when it comes to religion.

3. Are You Financially Stable?
Money problems is one of the leading causes of marital problems and divorce in most troubled marriages. So before deciding to marry, it is best to ensure that you have sufficient income that will take care of yourself and at least 2 other persons. Because when you get married finally, you will need to discuss with your wife your spending habits, budgeting, and saving for the future. If this is not considered, there may be problems.

4. Lifestyle Changes
Long before you get married, you will start to make some lifestyle changes and habits that will help you to have a successful marriage. Some of those changes include tolerating the habits of women and children, learning to start coming home early from work. Limiting your friendship with your pals, sticking to only one partner at a time and eating healthy to look healthy.

5. You Must Be More Than 21.
Of course this should be the first reason but I guess I allowed it to be one of the last because I feel it is an obvious option. Experience has shown that a 21 year old man reasons like an 18 year old girl, because a girl of 18 and boy of 18 do not reason on the same level. Best maturity age for a man to get married is between 28 – 35 as at this time the man has discovered himself and accomplished a lot.

6. Emotional And Mental Maturity
Women are one of the most difficult elements God has created. They are complex and sometimes behaves like children. As a man you need lots of patience, understanding and maturity to handle them. If you are not able to handle a woman’s feelings, you may end up hurting someone when provoked or insulted by your woman. Emotional and mental maturity comes with age and experience and that is why I give an ideal 28 – 35 years for a man to be before he contemplates marriage.

Of course, all the above requirements must be met before the thought of marriage start troubling a man. If you have met all these criteria, then there is nothing stopping you from getting married. All you need is start looking for a desirable mate that has all the wife qualities you need.
Once you get that lucky woman, just go right ahead and marry her, at the end of the day, you stand a better chance of having a happy and successful marriage if you marry the right woman.

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